Best Man Speach

Note:  I’m actually misspelling the word “speech” the wrong way here on purpose, as “speach”, because it’s what got you here from Google.  No offense.  You probably slipped up in your spelling, but since you’re here, feel free to utilize my advice gathered from years of public speaking: 

Okay, so you’re the best man.  If you have a couple hours to get ready to make the best man speach, that’s okay.  We’ll get you up and running.  If you’ve got weeks or more, that’s even better.  I’ve been in this very boat 4 times over the past 2 years!  (I have lots of friends who decided to get married).

Giving a good best man speach is just like any other speech.  You can have a lot of fun with it, and really get the room laughing.  Or, you can say something with a lot of feeling that connects everyone in a way that they will remember forever.  If this sounds like a tall order, first of all, don’t stress.  Any best man speach can be a good one.  It doesn’t have to leave everyone in tears.

Let’s start with the don’ts:

*  DON’T try to use humor if you’re uncomfortable with it.  If you’re not normally a really funny guy, you might want to shoot for a best man speech that is a little more mellow.  Humor can backfire.  If you DO want to try, remember this:  DON’T use the kind of humor that you’d share with the guys at their place.  People come to weddings because they want to feel like the human spirit is alive and well.  They want to feel the good feelings, like love and joy.  They DON’T want to be reminded of the bad parts of human existence, like greed, lust, envy, etc.  Try to make very light jabs if you’re going to use humor.  Since this is a best man speach, you have the unique opportunity to poke a little fun at the best man.  I would highly recommend you contain it to him, since humor directed at men is usually seen as much more acceptable at a wedding than humor directed at women.

* No matter what someone says…DON’T get drunk the night or even few minutes before the best man speach.  It may seem like a good idea at the time if you’re a social drinker to have a couple beers to loosen up the tension, but this almost always backfires.  Not to freak you out, but the pressure of a best man speach is real.  You may be able to convince yourself that it’s not there until the minute it happens, but it will suddenly be in your face, and you don’t want to lean on booze to get you through it.  That will only make it worse.

*  Try to speak at a normal speed.  Try this with a friend.  Just speak like you would normally…don’t rush, don’t drag on and on.  Speaking at a “normal” pace in public is a unique art.  The BEST way, by far, I find to get it right is practicing in front of people you know.

Okay, so those are the things to look out for and a few good things to do, especially the things I find are most typically related to a best man speach.  Now, I recommend you check out my page on the general format of wedding toasts and speeches to get some ideas on the mechanics of your best man speach.

And don’t stress out!  You’ll be doing fine in no time.